don't include me in the 99%

Am I willing to march with the 99% protesters?

Meh. Not so much.

Am I willing to march with the 90% protesters?

Hell to the yeah!

Who can support this growing economic disparity? Better question: What the hell is wrong with Tea Partiers and other tax cut harpers who think the way out of this recession is more of the same?

Thank you Mother Jones for the above chart and others that point out the glaring unfairness faced by the middle class and the poor.

somebody please put a sock in her mouth

Sally Kern

Oklahoma State Representative

House District 84

"...every day our young people... are bombarded at school, in movies, in music, on TV, in the mall, in magazines, they’re bombarded with ‘homosexuality is normal and natural.’ It’s something they have to deal with every day. Fortunately we don’t have to deal with a terrorist attack every day, and that’s what I mean... that it’s more dangerous, and yes I think that it’s also more dangerous because it will tear down the moral fiber of this nation."

Preferably a very colorful sock:

previously worn by one of these proud gentlemen:

You can to listen to Sally Kernaphobic for yourself, here.

true evil

Every time I hear a right wing Christian preacher ranting about the evils of the gay lifestyle or some neo-con politician up for re-election warning that the legalization of gay marriage is the antithesis of family values, my blood boils.

Because I have listened to too many heartwrenching stories about the true and actual evils bestowed by Christian parents upon their gay children. These supposed God fearing moms and dads.

Painful recountings by gays of parents who failed them, rejected them, abused them. Childhoods, adolescences, adult years of being criticized, threatened, berated, humiliated and ostracized. Parents who doled out condemnation rather than acceptance for something their child didn't choose, contrary to the uninformed propaganda. Time and again I have comforted middle aged adults whose train wrecked lives can't ever get on track because, in my professional opinion, they were denied essential love and nurturance by the very people entrusted to shelter and raise them.

So here is my point, in case it isn't obvious by now. The true evil is perpetrated, not by gays who are merely trying to find their truth, but by gay haters, gay deniers, gay bashers. By those masquerading as followers of Jesus, who, by the way, purportedly never preached against homosexuality. Or if he did, it wasn't remembered or viewed so important as to warrant inclusion in the gospels by the big man in the clouds doing the inspirational nudging.

The core violation of family values occurs, instead, in the homes of gay repudiating parents whose fear, ignorance and narcissism prevents them from fulfilling their fundamental Christian duty: to provide a safe upbringing to their children. To love them.

WWPD: What would Palin do?

Don Haase was appointed by current Alaska Governor Sean Parnell (R) to sit on their state's Judicial Council, a panel that nominates state judges.

Haase testified Wednesday that he believes it should be illegal for Alaskans to have sex outside of marriage.

Yes, you read that right. Haase wants to see Alaskans prosecuted for the crime of pre-marital sex.

For some reason I find myself wondering... would former Governor Sarah Palin back this guy's political agenda?

You can read more about the appointee, here.

if this isn't massively big government, nothing is

Woke up to this on the front page of today's paper. A proposed law by Texas State Senator Dan Patrick (Republican-7th District) will make it mandatory for women seeking abortions to have a sonogram and listen to the fetal heartbeat.

Patrick has been proposing laws of this nature for years. His 2009 law was watered down, mandating that women be informed of their right to the procedures but allowing them to opt out.

His "current proposal allows women to avert their eyes."

It's unclear whether women can refuse the fetal monitor heartbeat.

Really? A bunch of stuff shirts in the Texas lege are gonna allow me to look away? What would they have us do? Put our heads in a vice and force us to look? Stick plugs in our ears against our will? Sounds a little clockwork orangey to me.

And what happened to the Republican rallying cry, Keep government off my back! I don't understand how my back is off limits but my uterus is fair game.

making all kinds of history

Isn't it exciting? So much history in the making, right before our very eyes.

First we have Barak Obama, the first African American President of the United States.

Then we have Nancy Pelosi, the first woman Speaker of the House.

And now we have John Boehner, first African American Speaker of the House.

I mean, come on. His skin is two shades darker than President Obama's.

the diagnosis is in

The evaluation is complete. The tests interpreted. The diagnosis is in.

The One Hundred Twelfth United States Congress suffers from TCTDDD (Tax Cut Trickle Down Delusional Disorder).

Haldol, anyone?

"Yes! Extending the existing tax cuts will create jobs. Because the only way out of this mess is to keep things exactly as they are." -Stephen Colbert

p.s. Great minds think alike.

faux news or fauxing stupid?

Ever have one of those bad blogger days when you realize you've misspelled a word in your post or mixed up a metaphor and hope your readers don't realize you really are an idiot in the disguise of a wannabe writer?

Well, fear not, friends. Whatever your bloggulous blunder, your metaphorical misstep, it shrinks to a mere speck on the ass of a gnat that lands on the wing of a cow by comparison to a boneheaded missive posted at Fox Nation.

If you blinked for a few days lifetimes like I did, you missed it. But the masterinvestigators at mediate were keeping watch on The Fox Nation with their eyes wide shut and their minds wide shocked when Fox Nation reposted an Obama-bashing article from The Onion. Reposted it without mentioning the fact that The Onion is satire.

You really have to read this mediate post for yourself or this Talking Points Memo recap if you want the full on delightfully incredulous effect.

You can't read the original Fox News post because they've taken it down. I've already checked --no horse stall too full of manure for this blogger to wade her wellingtons through in order to track down the origin of an internet story.

In other words, Oops Confirmed.

Or was it? We presume the author of this repost was asleep at the blogwheel. But then there are the editors who are more discerning. Right? Or was this an effort to mislead by design, hoping nobody would call them on it?

wisdom gained from a former president

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.

Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. -Tom Wilson.

Most people complain about aging: the wrinkles, the gray hair, the aches, the pains. I, on the other hand, like to focus on all of the good things aging brings.

Wisdom, for example. Wisdom in the form of an ever expanding vocabulary. Not a week goes by that I don't add at least one new word to my tenuous grasp of the English language.

This week has been a good example. A bonus week, in fact, thanks to our 43rd President, George W. Bush.

Mr. Bush gave several interviews this week as promo for his new memoir, Decision Points. In the ABC Matt Lauer interview I listened to words spoken by the former President that I had never heard before. Words so cutting edge that I can't find them in the dictionary. Words so multi-syllabled and tongue-twistery that I can't pronounce them.

So help me readers, if you can. Let me share them with you and see if you comprehend the wisdom imparted by Mr. Bush.

In the Matt Lauer interview, speaking of the days following our nation's greatest civilian tragedy here's what Mr. Bush had to say:

"...it's hard for people to remember that right after 9/11 we were inyuandated (in-you-un-dated) with threats." (16:55)

And on election night 2000:

"It was an amazing night. A night in which I had been declared the loser. It turns out that the exit polls were wrong (and I) had been declared the winner, which created a sense of exhilieration (ex-hill-ee-or-ation)." (15:15)

In the Greta Van Susteren interview, speaking of the media's representation of his relationship with his dad, Mr. Bush said:

"...there's a lot of psycho-bible out there about how he and I compete..." (05:23)

In addition to vocabulary growth, another benefit of aging is the new clinical insights gained over the years from some of the most unexpected sources: Fox News, in this case.

Here's Bush with Van Susteren again, speaking on how sobriety changed the course of his life and how he hopes his sobriety will inspire others to quit drinking:

"I wouldn't be shitting here as a former president had I not quit drinking." (7:25)

I'm not sure how shitting during a televised interview provides inspiration to the drunks out there, exactly. It's my understanding that active alcoholics are more likely to shit themselves. But again, everyday is an opportunity to learn something new.

So I hope you can help me out, readers. Either way, cheers to the years!

time for another segment of let's ridicule riddle

She's at it again. Debbie Riddle, un-esteemed State Rep. (R) from Tomball, Texas, won't be shamed out of her relentless pursuit of anchor babies and terror babies in this here grand state. Apparently Texas can't let Arizona beat it at making racist headlines.

Intent on proving everything is not only bigger but also stupider in Texas, Riddle camped out all night at the Texas Capitol on Sunday so she could be first to pre-file her clone of Arizona's racial profiling immigration law for the upcoming legislative session.

In her words the bill, “gives law enforcement officers additional tools, if they have the reasonable suspicion that there is a violation of a law, to inquire into an individual’s immigration status.”

She is that serious because terror babies are that big of a threat, yawl.

I used to think it was really odd that the Texas legislature met only once every two years. With legislators like Riddle, I now think it's a godsend.

election hangover

Ok, American voters, if this is the way you want things to keep going, you might just get your way now that you've sent a Republican controlled congress back to Washington.

In our great country, the one that stands for equality, the bottom 80% (wage and salary owners) own only 7% of the financial wealth. The top 1 percent (upper class) own 43% of the wealth.

Another way of putting this, " ...just 10% of the people own the United States of America."

You can read more, here.

As for me, I'm taking two aspirin and will call you back in two years.

man up, glenn beck and cry some real tears now

If you were one of the seventeen million people who attended The Rally to Restore Sanity like I did, which is to say, in spirit, you will appreciate this re-cap in pictures:

If you haven't seen enough, you can see more pictures here.

Update: I originally spelled Glenn with only one "n." Which made me think, isn't spelling Glenn with two "n's" kind of gay?

beating those kids who think they are so damn smart

I have just found Crystal Jackson's blog, Fight stupidization. Her recent post talks about Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell's campaign commercial.

You know the one: "I am not a witch. I am you."

Jackson rejects the notion that the Average Joe is the best man for the job. But it's a question worth asking: Why do (so many) voters find the Average Joe so appealing when it comes to electing them to high office? Even the office of presidency? When what we need in the White House or in the Senate is someone who is not just smart, but very smart. Someone who, as Jackson says, can "pay attention to intricate, ever-changing details."

Back when Shrub was elected, pundits and pollsters said many voted for him because they'd like to have a beer with him. I don't know about you, but I can think of a lot of people I like having beers with who would make very dangerous Presidents.

But as much as I hate to admit it, the right wing message crafters seem to have nailed it in their persistent way of manipulating the subset of the voting population that holds contempt for intelligence and fact wielders.

I often wonder if this doesn't stem from days in the classroom when deep resentment arose toward that kid who sat front and center, raised her hand for every question and knew the answer every.single.time.

Getting good grades is probably the single most cohesive goal of parents in any community, of any color, of all sides of the political spectrum. Kids who are average, or worse, find themselves semester after semester unable to distinguish themselves with high marks. Find themselves standing in front of disappointed, or worse, punishing and belittling parents. Who eventually trade in their humiliation for a major case of contempt.

So I often assume the appeal of the Average Joes and the Common Folk Christines is more about getting even with those know-it-all over-achievers. Letting the long-ago-but-never-forgotten feelings of inadequacy get the best of their voter sense. Finally taking aim and wielding some control over those kids who think they're so damn smart.

I don't know if this is at all close to what is going on. I just know that recent campaign trends depict the brilliant as suspect. Ivory tower as out of touch. Top of the class as contemptible.

And maybe because in the White House we've had on the Democrat side:

-Carter, top 10% of his class in the Naval Academy.

-Clinton, a Rhodes Scholar.

-Obama, Editor of the Harvard Law Review.

And on the Republican side:

-Reagan, an actor.

-Bush, a yell leader.

'Nuff said.

another texan tells a tall one

Gather up,

cowgirls and cowpokes.

You don't want to miss this.

The latest in a long line of Texas' finest

guv-mint 'fishals

spoutin' off at the mouth.

Without further ado, I inner-duce you

to one of Texas' State Representatives,

Debbie Riddle, Republican from Tomball, Texas.

Don't know whar Tomball is?

Why it's just east 'o Waller, down the road a middlin' from Stagecoach.

Whut? Don't know whar Stagecoach is?

Ok-doke.

It's up the road a piece from Houston-town.

So go 'head on. Watch the clip.

Where Anderson Cooper gets all swole up talkin' to Rep. Riddle on her claim that,

pregnant women are coming to the U.S. as tourists, having babies, and then going back home, quote, with the nefarious purpose of turning them into little terrorists who will then come back to the U.S. and do us harm as part of an organized terror element.

Terrorist babies. Now if that don't put pepper in yer gumbo!

Rep. Riddle goes on to spin a yarn that "it is common knowledge" that 81% of babies born in one Houston hospital are "anchor babies."

You know what that is, don't chee? Anchors are babies born to illegal aliens (undocumented immigrants to you and me) in the U.S. so they can later brang more immigrant relatives to soak up our well-far (tax payer supported health care).

But these anchors want more than our well-far. They're gonna be trained terrorists who come back to the U.S. and blow up our cars an' buildings an' ever'thang!

Contacted by staff from the Austin American Statesman, Riddle stated she "shouldn't have talked about the terror babies."

Whut? Nuh -uh! Of course you should, Missus Riddle! We Amaricans have a right to be cattle-prodded into voting booths out of fear of infant terror cells spewing out in our very own hospitals.

Who cares that Riddle's facts don't squar?

Facts she got from an opinion piece written by fellow republican and State Senator Dan Patrick, R-Houston. How 'bout that? Another republican't. Well, I'll just swaney!

Truth is, where truth equals fact published on paper, closer to 60% of mothers giving birth in Houston hospitals are undocumented. That's a sobering statistic, to be sure, but it ain't nowhar close to no 81%.

But hold yer horses. Only "a few percentage points" off, according to State Senator Patrick.

Hell fire f-ck, that man does some wondrous 'rithmatic.

But I'll swan that Riddle and Patrick know what their fellow Texans have to say about opinions:

They're like assholes. Some are just louder and smellier than others.

click here to see what this picture of "W" is made of

Dad'gum right.

Here's the clip again if you want to take a gander. Worth every one of them thar eleven minutes.

I love the way, at the end, she figgers out she's bitten off more than she can swally so she lapses into the usual clap-trap, "The people of Texas are demanding that our border be secure!"

Do you think by we Texans she's including the 37% that's hispanic?

P.S. I tried to embed the clip. "Embedded disabled by request." Hmm. I wonder who doesn't want this clip going viral?

and we're not even halfway through the year

Priorities, man:

The exact quote I've been searching for:

Am extremey embarrassed for you:

For the rest of the Huff Post's funniest protest signs of 2010, click here.

vent-a-thong

Aaryn Belfer can rant like no other. And today's post was no exception with her 12 things she's really friggin sick and tired of. To include liars (yeah you, Rudy and Dana) and overly vain, surgically addicted fame-seekers (Heidi).

Me? I'd like to add my humble #13. Or make that #12, as I don't have a grudge against those cute, cuddly Pandas.

So here we go. Here's what I'm really friggin sick and tired of: so-called independent and swing voters who decide elections.

Because I have to ask: Who are you people, really?

That one year you can vote for the Bushie gang and the next election year Obama and now this year Scott "I posed naked for Cosmo" Brown?

I mean really, Massachusetts? You lose The Lion and you replace him with Beefcake Boy because he drives a fancy four door GMC Canyon pick up truck? I know this kind of down-home-boy fakery works in Texas elections, but you too?

And why is it that posing nude tends to work against women running for Miss America but works for men running for the U.S. Senate? WTF is that about?

I really do believe wonder if some people register as Independent so they can be the darling of the politico media. As in, I don't get enough attention in my real life so I'll call myself an Independent so exit pollsters will put a microphone and camera in front of my face so I can toyingly make them guess who I voted for.

This is not a game, people.

Did you not see what 8 years of Republicanisms did to America? To the stock market? To the banking industry? To people's homes? Jobs? Lives?

I guess you Massachusians are about as hard headed as your state is hard to spell.

You say you want to send a message to Democrats that you don't like how they're running things. Really?

Lesson 1. Brown's seat certainly means more Congressional stagnation, not less.

Lesson 2. Years of Republican regulation-ease led to financial near-collapse. Or have you forgotten already? I haven't. My husband lost a great deal of income. Our finances still have not recovered. And I am working longer hours to keep us afloat. I am not able to be the available mom that I was before Bush-face and Dick Vader took my country hostage.

Lesson 3. Recent economic indicators, thanks to Dem-lead initiatives, suggest we just might be out of the most troubled waters. I'd say the Dems are doing a pretty damned good job.

Lesson 4. A good thirty years we've endured a steady stream of steep health insurance premium increases and other assaults on our health care. Experts predict more of the same if we don't do something drastically different. But Republican leadership can only come up with tax-cuts and more tax-cuts and filibusters and no-votes and tort reform as supposed solutions.

Lesson 5. I got news for you tort-touters. I live in a state that passed tort-reform. My premiums have not come down at all. They continue to rise several hundred dollars every year. Some years, like this one, more than $1000. You can read more about how tort-reform "did not translate into lower health insurance premiums for consumers" here.

I can only hope Scott Brown makes good on his campaign promises cough! choke! snort! That he votes in the U.S. Senate like he voted in the Mass. State Senate. A moderate who worked with the Dems.

But it's hard to imagine the current Republican party letting Brown get away with anything short of the right wing red meat spewed out by the likes of Limpballs and Annthrax Coulter.

So we shall see, Mass-a-chew-on-this. We shall see.

it's hard work

First an airplane terrorist couldn't manage to set off a bomb in his shoe. He was dubbed The Shoe Bomber. Now we've got a terrorist who could barely manage to set fire to his crotch. He was dubbed The Undie Bomber. Or, if you're a faithful Deb on the Rocks reader, he's now Captain Underpants.

But seriously. What's next ? The Earlobe Lobber? The Nostril Nabber? The Bra-Cupped Crusader? The Vaginal Villain?

In response to this most recent on-board bombing bungle, airports in Amsterdam and Nigeria have announced that, in future, they will use full body scans to peep on screen passengers. Security workers will be able to play peek-a-boo, I see you ... ALL of you.

In effect, they will be provided the airport perk of porn-on-demand.

While the screenee, one presumes, will feel embarrassed and violated, the professional peeping toms screening techs will feel titillated and transfixed.

And the passengers in the long waiting lines? Impatience will be replaced with a mix of anxiety and

If these full body scans make it to American airports? It will be a whole new world for the employees of the Transportation Security Administration. Absenteeism rates will plummet. Boredom complaints will vanish.

These workers, may, in fact, be demanding longer shifts, shorter breaks, and fewer vacation hours.

This news of heightened erotica potential for airport security workers may be the perfect answer to the ongoing debate about the unionizing of the TSA.

Future arbitration meetings might sound something like this:

You drop the union bid and we give you unlimited, in-person, pre-flight porn. Deal?

We'll consider it. But first, we will need between-scan conjugal visits. Because, in the words of our former president,

big win for mayor elect

Houston Mayor-elect Annise Parker

celebrates her runoff election victory

with her partner of 19 years, Kathy Hubbard (in purple)

I love to see a woman beat a man make history. Especially when that woman is a lesbian.

In this case, Annise Parker was the first openly lesbian woman to be elected mayor of an American metropolis: Houston.

Every now and again the citizens of Texas get it right.

I also love to see it when history making members of the GLBT community show that they, too, cherish loving, longterm committments. Parker and her partner have been together 19 years. They have two children.

Why their two children are denied married parents doesn't make any sense to me. Kids of gay parents have it tough enough, don't they?

Take Mason, for instance, a young Austin resident who spoke before a public crowd to say he gets teased at school. You don't come from a "real family," is one taunt he's had to endure. And as research has now shown, there are psychological consequences of denying gay rights.

But in order for Parker to win the Houston election, she had to make some political and very personal concessions. During a campaign debate she stated she would not push for same-sex partner benefits for Houston's city workers. Denying health insurance for her very own wife partner.

“Personally it’s very important,” she was quoted as saying, “but, as mayor of Houston, do I want to engage resources in fighting that battle, or do I want to tackle the budget? Do I want to tackle drainage? Do I want to try to put more police officers on the street? It’s the difference between the personal and what this city needs.”

One step at a time.