Saturday, November 27, 2010

faux news or fauxing stupid?

Ever have one of those bad blogger days when you realize you've misspelled a word in your post or mixed up a metaphor and hope your readers don't realize you really are an idiot in the disguise of a wannabe writer?

Well, fear not, friends. Whatever your bloggulous blunder, your metaphorical misstep, it shrinks to a mere speck on the ass of a gnat that lands on the wing of a cow by comparison to a boneheaded missive posted at Fox Nation.

If you blinked for a few days lifetimes like I did, you missed it. But the masterinvestigators at mediate were keeping watch on The Fox Nation with their eyes wide shut and their minds wide shocked when Fox Nation reposted an Obama-bashing article from The Onion. Reposted it without mentioning the fact that The Onion is satire.

You really have to read this mediate post for yourself or this Talking Points Memo recap if you want the full on delightfully incredulous effect.

You can't read the original Fox News post because they've taken it down. I've already checked --no horse stall too full of manure for this blogger to wade her wellingtons through in order to track down the origin of an internet story.

In other words, Oops Confirmed.

Or was it? We presume the author of this repost was asleep at the blogwheel. But then there are the editors who are more discerning. Right? Or was this an effort to mislead by design, hoping nobody would call them on it?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

have a potentially life altering thanksgiving

I made a potentially life altering decision yesterday. One that may lead my husband to divorce me and my children to file for legal emancipation.

Our Thanksgiving meal, for the first time in 19 years, will include the turkey stuffed with oranges but will not include these:

You know, those tired, store-brand white parker dinner rolls that come on a waxy cardboard tray. Or the ones that are shaped like a chef hat. But whatever shape, they've got an unforgiving bake time: three seconds too late and they go from soft and doughy to dry and tough. They were always on the Thanksgiving table at my and my husband's houses growing up despite the fact that my family was East coast and his was Gulf coast.

Everyone in my family loves them but me. Every year I try to leave them off the menu but Sam manages to come through the door last minute, "Don't worry. I bought the rolls!"

But so far the lack of rolls has gone unnoticed or at least unmentioned. If the table manages to get loaded up with food and the rolls aren't there? I will need every form of positive thought, strength vibe or remnant of the last harmonic convergence to get through the meal without dodging spit balls of cornbread stuffing

So readers, what's not on your menu this year?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

and I was told Aggies never cheat

nor tolerate those who do.

Last night the Fightin' Texas Aggies beat #9 Nebraska. If you watched the game you saw this scene: Husker, Ben Cotton, drawing two consecutive 15 yard penalties after this pile up. The video clip gives a whole new understanding of that Cotton kicking Cornhusker.

I hear this kinda thing goes on all the time in football pile ups but I sure don't like to see it, least of all from the Aggies.

Onward to Thursday:

Gig 'em Aggies.

Saw varsity's horns off!

(Minus the butt pinching.)

Friday, November 19, 2010

friday fill-ins

1. Why doesn't everyone believe in quality health care for all Americans?

2. Sailing on a luxury yacht would be a great way to see the world.

3. Thank you for reading my blog.

4. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because we get to watch the Aggies beat the hell outta t.u.

5. I am SO grateful for the good health of my family.

6. We can only be as happy as we make up our minds to be.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to eating a big fat hamburger, tomorrow my plans include celebrating my anniversary with my husband and Sunday, I want to skip stones on my favorite spring fed river!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

wisdom gained from a former president

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.
Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. -Tom Wilson.

Most people complain about aging: the wrinkles, the gray hair, the aches, the pains. I, on the other hand, like to focus on all of the good things aging brings.

Wisdom, for example. Wisdom in the form of an ever expanding vocabulary. Not a week goes by that I don't add at least one new word to my tenuous grasp of the English language.

This week has been a good example. A bonus week, in fact, thanks to our 43rd President, George W. Bush.

Mr. Bush gave several interviews this week as promo for his new memoir, Decision Points. In the ABC Matt Lauer interview I listened to words spoken by the former President that I had never heard before. Words so cutting edge that I can't find them in the dictionary. Words so multi-syllabled and tongue-twistery that I can't pronounce them.

So help me readers, if you can. Let me share them with you and see if you comprehend the wisdom imparted by Mr. Bush.

In the Matt Lauer interview, speaking of the days following our nation's greatest civilian tragedy here's what Mr. Bush had to say:

"'s hard for people to remember that right after 9/11 we were inyuandated (in-you-un-dated) with threats." (16:55)

And on election night 2000:

"It was an amazing night. A night in which I had been declared the loser. It turns out that the exit polls were wrong (and I) had been declared the winner, which created a sense of exhilieration (ex-hill-ee-or-ation)." (15:15)

In the Greta Van Susteren interview, speaking of the media's representation of his relationship with his dad, Mr. Bush said:

"...there's a lot of psycho-bible out there about how he and I compete..." (05:23)

In addition to vocabulary growth, another benefit of aging is the new clinical insights gained over the years from some of the most unexpected sources: Fox News, in this case.

Here's Bush with Van Susteren again, speaking on how sobriety changed the course of his life and how he hopes his sobriety will inspire others to quit drinking:

"I wouldn't be shitting here as a former president had I not quit drinking." (7:25)

I'm not sure how shitting during a televised interview provides inspiration to the drunks out there, exactly. It's my understanding that active alcoholics are more likely to shit themselves. But again, everyday is an opportunity to learn something new.

So I hope you can help me out, readers. Either way, cheers to the years!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

time for another segment of let's ridicule riddle

She's at it again. Debbie Riddle, un-esteemed State Rep. (R) from Tomball, Texas, won't be shamed out of her relentless pursuit of anchor babies and terror babies in this here grand state. Apparently Texas can't let Arizona beat it at making racist headlines.

Intent on proving everything is not only bigger but also stupider in Texas, Riddle camped out all night at the Texas Capitol on Sunday so she could be first to pre-file her clone of Arizona's racial profiling immigration law for the upcoming legislative session.

In her words the bill, “gives law enforcement officers additional tools, if they have the reasonable suspicion that there is a violation of a law, to inquire into an individual’s immigration status.”

She is that serious because terror babies are that big of a threat, yawl.

I used to think it was really odd that the Texas legislature met only once every two years. With legislators like Riddle, I now think it's a godsend.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

election hangover

Ok, American voters, if this is the way you want things to keep going, you might just get your way now that you've sent a Republican controlled congress back to Washington.

In our great country, the one that stands for equality, the bottom 80% (wage and salary owners) own only 7% of the financial wealth. The top 1 percent (upper class) own 43% of the wealth.

Another way of putting this, " ...just 10% of the people own the United States of America."

You can read more, here.

As for me, I'm taking two aspirin and will call you back in two years.