sweet thumping

Every year in Luling, Texas there's a Watermelon Thump, where thump equals festival.

Every year I say I want to go and every year I miss it for one reason or another, usually because I forget all about it when the weekend arrives. This year we had just returned from vacation and I opted to stay home and luxuriate in doing nothing.

It's called a watermelon thump for an important reason. Choosing a good watermelon, a ripe melon that isn't overly ripe, is all in the thump. After reading one of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. Brightsides Friday Fast Ones give advice on watermelon selection, I remembered a funny story.

Sam was told by a guy who used to sell watermelons on the side of the road that it's all in the stripes. Pick a melon with stripes that blend and blur into each other rather than distinct stripes.

One day earlier in the summer I finally remembered this advice. Came home ready to see if the proof was in the melon. Sam picked it up and asked, Did you feel this?! All accusatory like.

Turns out one end was soft and squishy like a nerf ball. Rotten on one end. Over ripe. I was so busy looking at stripes that I didn't feel the damned thing. BFD. Where D = Duh. I could have kicked myself.

With these:

So when I read Mrs. Brightside, I was curious and went to youtube. Watched a slew of experts (produce managers, farmers, Ag extension service dudes). None mentioned stripes. Only one mentioned color but it was general, bright color recommended rather than dull.

They all mentioned the thump, however. Hollow, echo sound to the thump. Dull thud means over ripe. They also said to pick one with a yellow resting spot, not white.

And? The hotter the weather the sweeter the melon. Silver lining given the summer we're having. Last week we beat the previous record of 21 consecutive days of triple digit temperatures with 27 days.

So, as it turns out, now's the perfect time to get out there and thump. There's some sweet watermelon waiting.

wisdom gained from a former president

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.

Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. -Tom Wilson.

Most people complain about aging: the wrinkles, the gray hair, the aches, the pains. I, on the other hand, like to focus on all of the good things aging brings.

Wisdom, for example. Wisdom in the form of an ever expanding vocabulary. Not a week goes by that I don't add at least one new word to my tenuous grasp of the English language.

This week has been a good example. A bonus week, in fact, thanks to our 43rd President, George W. Bush.

Mr. Bush gave several interviews this week as promo for his new memoir, Decision Points. In the ABC Matt Lauer interview I listened to words spoken by the former President that I had never heard before. Words so cutting edge that I can't find them in the dictionary. Words so multi-syllabled and tongue-twistery that I can't pronounce them.

So help me readers, if you can. Let me share them with you and see if you comprehend the wisdom imparted by Mr. Bush.

In the Matt Lauer interview, speaking of the days following our nation's greatest civilian tragedy here's what Mr. Bush had to say:

"...it's hard for people to remember that right after 9/11 we were inyuandated (in-you-un-dated) with threats." (16:55)

And on election night 2000:

"It was an amazing night. A night in which I had been declared the loser. It turns out that the exit polls were wrong (and I) had been declared the winner, which created a sense of exhilieration (ex-hill-ee-or-ation)." (15:15)

In the Greta Van Susteren interview, speaking of the media's representation of his relationship with his dad, Mr. Bush said:

"...there's a lot of psycho-bible out there about how he and I compete..." (05:23)

In addition to vocabulary growth, another benefit of aging is the new clinical insights gained over the years from some of the most unexpected sources: Fox News, in this case.

Here's Bush with Van Susteren again, speaking on how sobriety changed the course of his life and how he hopes his sobriety will inspire others to quit drinking:

"I wouldn't be shitting here as a former president had I not quit drinking." (7:25)

I'm not sure how shitting during a televised interview provides inspiration to the drunks out there, exactly. It's my understanding that active alcoholics are more likely to shit themselves. But again, everyday is an opportunity to learn something new.

So I hope you can help me out, readers. Either way, cheers to the years!