more on musicians and oxytocin

No sooner had I posted about oxytocin and music last week, then I made plans to join some girlfriends and see one of Austin's most awesome musicians, Bob Schneider. His incredible show provided one more note of evidence that this city is, if not the Music Capital of the World, as so frequently touted, then a top contender.


Where else can you hear music this good, at a moments notice, on a Monday night? And I mean, gooooood. I was so impressed and loved every minute of it. Three guitars, a drummer (nay, a percussionist), a string section (or, one guy alternating a cello and a fiddle), a brass section (or, one other guy playing a smallish tuba and a horn), and a squeeze box.

If not because of his music, you may have heard of Schneider because of his famous ex-girlfriend, Sandra Bullock. She remains a sometimes Austin resident and local bistro owner. You may have also heard of her multi-million dollar Austin lake house debacle rumored to become the couple's love nest (not to be confused with her movie, Lake House). Bullock claimed the house was uninhabitable due to shoddy workmanship, a jury agreed and she was awarded $7 million. Soon after, she bulldozed the 10,000 square foot house to the ground and is now in the process of rebuilding. A different builder, I assume.




But I majorly digress. Back to my original theme, oxytocin.

As I grooved to Bob Schneider's music and felt all googly-eyed like the 21 year old I was 100 years go, I was thinking about how common it is for fans to fall in love with the musician on stage. And the reputation musicians have for falling in lust right back. At least for the night. Present big-assed, middle-aged, perimenopausal fans who don't get out much, excepted.

And because I live and work in a city with so many musicians, I see a fair number in my practice. And what I see is a trend we're all familliar with: a high rate of infidelity. Musicians who can't keep their pants zipped. Traveling troubadours followed from town to town by groupies, obliging them with more than an autograph.

So now with the latest news of oxytocin, this rampant infidelity makes even clearer sense to me.

Bad news for partners of musicians, though, huh? How to feel trust when your partner is on stage oozing the hormone responsible for love, attachment and orgasms while in a room full of adoring, similarly oxytocin intoxicated fans. Add a cold beer or two and you've got a recipe for a cheatin' heart.

Here's one of Bob Schneider's best known songs: Big Blue Sea.





(For a laugh, listen to Schneider wax on about Damien Rice's hair, here.)

listen, its our song OR just another music monday

So many couples have a special song. The first song we danced to. A song we heard on the radio when we fell in love. Our wedding dance song. An album or an artist we listened to together, staring into each other's eyes, promising love and loyalty and "every Saturday night together forever and ever."

It also may be the song we cry hardest to when we break up.

At least one hormone appears to be connected to this music-bonding experience: oxytocin. You may have heard of, or had a personal encounter or two with oxytocin's synthetic evil sister, Pitocin. You know, that friendly-as-a-pit-bull-without-lipstick, labor inducing drug.

Also known as the love and cuddle drug, oxytocin is a natural hormone released by human beings at key relationship events in our lives. Women are believed to be awash in xxytocin when we breast feed, for example. In this way, it is thought that Oxytocin helps cultivate deep bonds of affection, or attachment, as this loving phenomenon is referred to in the psychological literature.

It makes sense, doesn't it? While feeding our helpless infants, our body is sending signals that encourage us to develop one of the most intense feelings known: parental love. From an evolutionary perspective, this helps our species survive. It also makes for some of the greatest joys, and greatest sorrows, of human existence.

HugTheMonkey is a blog dedicated to understanding the role Oxytocin plays in our lives. Its a fascinating site to click around and learn about the many ways oxytocin influences our relationships.

A recent post there tells us that researchers believe we release oxytocin when we listen to and perform music. It may help explain why dancing is such a prevalent romance building ritual. Why romantic movies play such dramatic music. Why so many quarters are dropped into juke boxes for "crying in my beer songs."

I can remember enduring a heartbreaking period in my life (or two, or three) and feeling the need, nay, the compulsion to listen to sad, sappy, "you don't love me anymore" songs. The tears would fall, I would feel like the lonliest, sorriest person on earth, and repeat this masochistic ritual until I reapplied my makeup and went out on the prowl, looking for my next victim.

Some songs can be heard years later, immediately "taking us back" to a loving phase in our life, typically the beginning of a serious relationship. One such song for me is "Back on the Chain Gang" by the Pretenders (apt title, huh?). It was my senior year in college and I was in the middle of a brand new relationship with someone who lived across the continent. Oh moony me. To this day, I hear this song and it catapults me back to that semester. Even though I don't have any remnants of the same feeling now for this (louse) person, the pleasurable feelings from that period come rushing back. At least for the three minutes while the song lasts.

So the next time you and your partner run into a dry spell? Can't remember what compells you to stay with this ignoramus? Break out in song. Or, if you're not the Von Trapp Family, break out the song. Grab a glass of wine, dim the lights, turn on your CD player and dance to your favorite melodies together. Or simply listen. See if this sparks the ole memory. See if you can get some oxytocin flowing.

What are some of your oxytocin inducing songs?

Painting titled, "The Devil's Phonograph," borrowed without the owner's permission.

Can be purchased here.