Tuesday, November 23, 2010

have a potentially life altering thanksgiving

I made a potentially life altering decision yesterday. One that may lead my husband to divorce me and my children to file for legal emancipation.

Our Thanksgiving meal, for the first time in 19 years, will include the turkey stuffed with oranges but will not include these:

You know, those tired, store-brand white parker dinner rolls that come on a waxy cardboard tray. Or the ones that are shaped like a chef hat. But whatever shape, they've got an unforgiving bake time: three seconds too late and they go from soft and doughy to dry and tough. They were always on the Thanksgiving table at my and my husband's houses growing up despite the fact that my family was East coast and his was Gulf coast.

Everyone in my family loves them but me. Every year I try to leave them off the menu but Sam manages to come through the door last minute, "Don't worry. I bought the rolls!"

But so far the lack of rolls has gone unnoticed or at least unmentioned. If the table manages to get loaded up with food and the rolls aren't there? I will need every form of positive thought, strength vibe or remnant of the last harmonic convergence to get through the meal without dodging spit balls of cornbread stuffing

So readers, what's not on your menu this year?


Sinda said...

Will you be home? If so, come over - my sister is making scratch rolls.

Not on the menu this year for us - a pie per person, which was our rule of old. That's a lot of pies.

hokgardner said...

I'm not cooking, so I have no idea what we'll be eating. All I know is that there better be some bread crumb stuffing and not just cornbread dressing.

Life As I Know It said...

We usually mix it up a bit every year...although there are always mashed potatoes and gravy. Always.

Good luck to you. I hope there isn't a massive roll mutiny at your house on Thursday :)

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

Stuffed with oranges??? I've never heard of that before. Sounds interesting!

Bread just fills you up with useless calories - they can jam in an extra mouthful of turkey instead. It's all good :)

Happy Turkey day to you and yours! Ours was last month :)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It's all on the menu, but we are crescent roll people. It's our only not homemade thing because nobody does those better than Pillsbury!

Lee said...

Haha! My daughter at a very young age determined rolls and some other items to be "space wasters" at Thanksgiving dinner. She was all about saving room for sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie.

What's new this Thanksgiving? We're heading to San Luis Obispo to my sisters' houses (identical twins). I'm not cooking at all although I expect to do some prep...ace potato peeler here. I'm bringing some local wines and a pumpkin spice bundt cake from Just Desserts.

Happy thanksgiving, yogi.

smalltownme said...

We don't do the sweet potato/marshmallow thing.

shrink on the couch said...

Sinda -- smart new rule. too much pie = too much thigh.

hokgardner -- I know, right? I fail to see the whoop-dee-doo about cornbread dressing.

Life -- Yes, mashed potatoes and gravy are the best. And I LOVE my husband's gravy. It is the best. (don't take that the wrong way... or do)

Jenn @ 1 -- Check out the link. My husband learned the recipe from LBJ's former cook. It is fabulous.
And yes, useless calories that take away from the more nutritious offerings.

lee -- your daughter is one smart cookie!

shrink on the couch said...

smalltownmom -- oh heavens no! I did buy sweet potatoes this year. Will do something simple with them.
I don't know what that is yet. Will be consulting with the sole sweet potato eater on that one.

Angeliki said...

We're not celebrating thanksgivings here but thinking about our Christmas table, chocolate related pudding is always missing. I'll remedy that!!!

Jason, as himself said...

We're not having turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing, or pumpkin pie.

We're ordering Chinese.

Anonymous said...

I make my turkey with lemon and orange. And slide lemon rounds, sliced thin, between meat and skin during cooking. Also make a slit in the skin and stick the baster through the slit to baste under the skin. Makes a huge difference! (That, or maybe it's just good because my mother's turkey is always petrified, so anything tastes better than that!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Elizabeth said...

I'm scarily unprepared this year and existing in a sort of dull haze. In all seriousness, I'm fortunate to be married to a chef. He'll be working elsewhere for the day, but he'll drop off all the good food for us before he goes!

Very funny post -- especially since I came here after reading Pioneer Woman's recipe for homemade parker house rolls!

Judy said...

No rolls? What are you thinking? Oh well. There will be rolls at my house. No cranberries and no sweet potatoes. It's all guy food since it will be me and three large men. I'm making way too much in the hopes they can graze off the meal for days. I'm the only female left in our small family. I can't get out of this. Rats.

Susan said...

The rolls are homemade at our table but the difference this year is that I begged off making them because Of my diet (And my inability to resist my family begging me to make a double batch for cinnamon rolls made from one of them.)

Aunt Snow said...

I think if I were you I'd try to make rolls from scratch, to show 'em something even better.

I love love love mincemeat pie - actually, its "mock mincemeat" since there's no actual meat in it - my Mom made it from the jar (Nonesuch) and added an extra diced apple or two. But no one in my current family likes mincemeat, so I've done without for many many years.

This year I'm not cooking AT ALL because we accepted an impulsive invitation to fly to another city for dinner. We arrive too late for us to even pretend to bring somethng.

Kathleen Scott said...

No gooey sweet potato casserole thingy. This year I'm putting out chipotle-smashed sweets. We're in Texas, after all.

About bread, maybe if you go completely different? Like Whole Foods Seedicious rolls? I bought a couple of loaves of rosemary sourdough bread. Will warm & slice and it will be great with the smoked turkey (purchased from our local BBQ place, another departure).

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Kathleen Scott said...

PS We're also doing Thanksgiving on Friday instead of Thursday.

Dr Zibbs said...

I hate those little rolls.

Magpie said...

I've never had those little rolls at Thanksgiving. We're all about the mashed potatoes as the starch. This year we had two kinds - with and without garlic.