Saturday, December 13, 2008
to which this mom is left speechless
I found a pair of girls corduroy pants in my bedroom, that look to be my daughters' size.
I go to their room and ask them, "Do these fit either of you?"
They both replied, "No."
Hmmm. What is wrong with the pants?
To which my fashion savvy daughter enlightens me: "I can't wear those because they make my butt look big."
My ten year old thinks her butt looks big?
Using my sternest, no nonsense voice, I replied, "Oh, they do not. You don't need to worry about such nonsense. Now here, take the pants"
Savvy Daughter: "Oh yes they do! They don't have back pockets. Pants without back pockets make your butt look big!"
Stern Me: "That has nothing to do with anything. Here, take the pants."
Savvy Daughter: "Yes, Mom! Pants without pockets make your butt look big! They do! Look, it says so in the book you gave me!"
In my most incredulous mom voice: "What?" (Thinking, "yeah, right!")
To which she produces the book, that yes, I gave her for Christmas last year, School Handbook for Girls* by Lisa Regan. I purchased it at the Scholastic Book Sale put on by their school each year.
And then my daughter quickly flips to the exact page, titled, Dream Jeans, where it says,
"If you're concerned that your butt is too big to wear jeans, think again. Choose a pair with large rear pockets to minimize your butt. Small pockets make it look bigger and no pockets will make it look huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge!"
Savvy Daughter: "See, Mom?!?"
I say nothing. I know when I've been beat.
And instead of taking a moment to explain that she has a beautiful little butt and doesn't need to worry about her butt looking huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge like the book I gave her says, I left the room with my mouth hanging open, determined to write a letter to the publisher, or leave an angry review on Amazon books, or both.
Or maybe just to blog about it.
*BackPackBooks. 2006. Miles Kelly Publishing Ltd.