SEXIEST PERSONS ALIVE

Friday, February 27, 2009

s.o.s.




Stands for "sleep over scream."


Mine.


My girls are hosting a slumber party, which is to say "I" am hosting a slumber party. Six ten year olds at my house.


Is anyone willing to air-express me some psychotropics? Oh, I'm not picky ... something in the anxyolytic family, or a barbituate, or perhaps, say, a nice sedating anti-psychotic?


I'll make it worth your while. Promise.


image lifted at a fanciful twist, here.

34 comments:

blognut said...

You won't need drugs! Of course, without them, you'll be hunkered down in a corner singing 'John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidtz' for about 4 hours, but it'll pass. I promise. :-0

Anonymous said...

no. worse than that.... you'll be singing Taylor Swift "Fifteen. until you want to rip your eyes out. As for drugs, I bet good old fashion alcohol will do.

Heather T said...

Oh, no you didn't. You did NOT invite six girls to spend the night. My limit has always been four. no more than four. Five and over, armageddon ensues. Call me old-fashioned.

I hope no one starts crying during the whole thing.

cats in the window said...

brave woman....yes u r

Madge said...

hey, how did you get that picture of me? cuz i think that's what i looked like at about 5:00 p.m. today....

lauren said...

You have my sympathy. Does that help?

Sara said...

sorry...the last comment was from me. My daughter was logged into blogger and I didn't know it....

Real Live Lesbian said...

You are SO screwed! LMAO


At LEAST you'll have good blog material! ;) Does that make you feel better?

Alison said...

Six ten year olds. Hmmm...Book into rehab now...so that you are covered for the amount of mind-altering substances that you will need to get you through this terribly difficult time.

My best wishes for a bright future.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Don't you have some of your special margaritas around?

I have always used the rule of 1 person for every year of your age for birthday parties. Fine in the early years, but believe me, thirteen 13-year old girls is a lot!

Sinda said...

Only six? It sounded like an even dozen! ;)

And amen to Anonymous - that damn fifteen song gets stuck in my head DAILY.

Orion said...

i would recommend slipping each child a 1/4 cup of benadryl
and as for yourself... nyquil. those are the household drugs i find to be the most useful
haha

merlotmom said...

Piece o' cake! Just leave 'em food, drinks, toilet paper, and the keys to the car. Then get your a** to sleep. They'll be fine. Just fine.

Reinvent Dad said...

Break out the karaoke machine, put them in a room and close the door!

JCK said...

I feel for you. Am certainly sending whiskey in spirit.

Maggie May said...

you can do it. you really can.

(i think.)

imom said...

I always heard boys were loud and wild, in my house it's the opposite. I limit my daughter to two at a sleepover and she's 14!! The three will make more noise than my son and a dozen of his friends. I make sure I have some good wine on hand for myself!

phd in yogurtry said...

blognut -- you were right, I made it through the night without drugs. sigh. Dreams die hard.

anon -- that's more accurate. you know pre-teens well. I finally hid the ipod.

heather t -- twin girls and this is the first time they've had more than one each. this is with a crowd that has been doing slumber birthday parties since Kg and 1st grade. so I am proud I've held out this long.

cats -- I didn't feel brave. I went into with both arms tied behind my back while being given indian burns.

madge -- hope today is as better for you today as it is better for me!

sara -- oh yes. sympathy much sought after and appreciated. thank you : )

real live -- an interesting twist for blog material, that I do have ... if I can recover long enough to get it written.

alison -- my coping strategy felt a bit like the night before entering rehab. as in, still drying out as I type this.

jenn -- haha. you know me too well. but I switched to my own version of a prickly pear cosmo, or as one of the moms called it, a prosmo. so yes, plenty of prosmos were had last night.

sinda -- okay, I pulled up fifteen on youtube, but it's not one I've been deluged with. or maybe I've been successful at blocking it out? b/c my girls have that CD. thank heavens for ipods and ear plugs.

orion -- ah, now there's a twist I hadn't thought of. next time, next time : ) actually, my strategy was a night of flashlight tag and capture the flag. they ran continuously for hours. they were all crashed on the couch at 12midnight. YES!!!

Mrs. G. said...

Just clear time in your schedule for a loooooooong nap.

Enjoy the GIGGLING.

g said...

I never had girls, but I had boys. I think - although don't hold me to it - that girls are less destructive than boys.

Earplugs. Get good ones.

Stacie said...

How about some crack cocaine because obviously you are already on it!!! Let me use a beloved term in my house hold when one does something CRAZY---You are a crackhead...I mean that in the most loving of terms!

Trannyhead said...

I sense some prank calls to the local radio station, a bunch of "Light as a feather, Stiff as a Board," and some "Truth or Dare" in your future. *shudder*

bernthis said...

call all the mothers, tell them you were high on Ambien when u agreed to do this

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

You brave, brave woman. I'll be doing the same, later this month.

xo

phd in yogurtry said...

mrs g -- did clear schedule. tried but failed to take nap. too many phones ringing.

g -- regarding the boys vs. girls and destruction ... two weeks ago I might have agreed. however, you have the misfortune of mentioning this soon after we purchased a new dishwasher. my daughter and friend were horsing around in the kitchen, one fell on the open dishwasher door and promptly broke it off. so, I'll have to take a raincheck on that debate.

stacie -- I would have signed for the crack had it been delivered.

trannyhead -- truth or dare, yes. light as a feather? have not heard of this. will be looking up soon. must stay on top of these things.

bernthis -- the thought did cross my mind.

lisa -- I may have some tips for you. hoping to post soon.

Mental P Mama said...

Ugh.

Vodka Mom said...

I HOPE you went to the liquor store before said party. Or have i taught you NOTHING????

apathy lounge said...

Dear God! The memories this brings back. Some of them sweet. Others? Not so much. Lighting a candle for you.

Becca said...

Saturday night I watched m,y friend's kids, so I has two three-year olds and an 18-month old all alone for several hours. I almost went nuts, not quite, but almost

therapydoc said...

Sounds pretty horrific, have to say.

phd in yogurtry said...

mental p -- times six.

vodka mom -- oh yes. and the kindly liquor store was running a special on Svedka. Imagine that!

becca -- you know? I wouldn't trade a night of six ten yr olds for ONE 18mos old. no kidding.

therapydoc -- is that an offer for a free session? Post Traumatic Sleepover Disorder?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Ack! I'm feelin' ya.

Laura went to a slumber party this weekend. The next night? She slept thirteen and a half hours straight.

I felt for the host mother too.

phd in yogurtry said...

cheri -- now if we could only get them to sleep 13 straight hours AT the slumber party!?

Fragrant Liar said...

Eh, lightweight.

I have had double slumber parties before, each daughter having 12-13 friends over. That would be, say, 12 x 2 = 24 + my 4 = 28 kids under the same roof for one night of HELL!

Yeah, you just think you had it bad. ;)