SEXIEST PERSONS ALIVE

Monday, March 02, 2009

in which she discovers she likes to be dominated



I've had clients who were into all kind of kink. Try it, they said, you'll like it.

Uh, thanks but no thanks, I was thinking.

But recently? Tried it. And I gotta tell ya. That dominance and submission business? To my great surprise, I liked it. No wait. I loved it.

It wasnt' even my idea. Who knew SAM knew anything about D & S? Let alone that he would spring it on me out of the clear blue? In the kitchen!

I was standing at the sink, cleaning up after a mediocre fantabuloso dinner, made by moi. I was just at the point of getting this stubborn, baked-on, crusted-on foodstuff off the pan when he made his move.

Or, made me move.

It went like this:

SAM, using his tired husky, most-manly, take-no-shit voice, said,

"Move out of the way. Come on. Now."

And then, using his elbow bulgy, most-manly bicep muscles, he nudged shoved me to the side and said demanded,

"Here. Let me get these dishes. You get outta here."

Now. I have never hailed myself as the submissive type. But I found myself meekly sliding over and backing away, quiet as a mouse, like a good little sub should.

I watched his back butt as he rinsed and scrubbed caressed the dishes.

And let me tell you.

I felt the earth.

Move.

Under my feet.

I decided then and there I had to grab his dishrag shirt, rip it right off his body and wipe the stove down sweat off my brow because I know he never wipes down the stove I had to have him right then and there.

So, interested readers, do you feel your heart beat intensifying?

Well, as much as I'd like to give you more, that's all you get. There's your glimpse.

Sorry, but an old kitchen hag a demure and obedient submissive has to preserve the fantasy honor the vow of silence.

Oh, and men? I hope you are taking notes.

When I am asked, in all seriousness, for my professional opinion about female libido enhancements, my standard reply is this: there is only one scientifically proven female aphrodisiac -- a man with a scrub brush in his hand.

Now go and spring some of these moves on your special someone and see what happens.

Image source: Here. Well, on second thought, I'd rather not link there.

34 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I have always said that a man emptying the dishwasher is very titillating foreplay.

Mental P Mama said...

Well, well, well;)

Madge said...

also -making the bed, running the vacuum, bathing the children

so hot.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I know what you mean...

blognut said...

Folding laundry - now that really gets me going!

Paul is a Hermit said...

Who knew?
I thought it was football on TV.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Cleaning my ceiling fans as a surprise for me? Will get you whatever you want!

Sunny said...

well, hope you'll be dominated more in the future :)

Raj said...

Wow..that's an eye-opener for me. and so many women agree on this :)

Kelli Anne Busey said...

now we are supposed to go to work;)

Saucy said...

This would only do it for me if the dishes were clean enough that I wouldn't have to wash them properly later... ugh. Turn.off.

Jocelyn said...

I've also disrobed and laid down on the couch when my husband has taken out the vacuum.

Maggie May said...

haha!

e.beck.artist said...

you crack me up entirely ....
light bulb changing is good for me too ....

Melissa said...

Oh, it's cat litter for me. If he would just do the cat litter, all sorts of favors would be bestowed upon him...

Health Psych said...

Printing and leaving that lying around, heavily highlighted!! :)

bernthis said...

I'm sorry but I guess you've never seen a man weilding a sponge

Blue Mountains Mary said...

Cooking dinner and then CLEANING UP afterwards would get me every time..

g said...

Yes. Yes. Yes!

Actually putting his own trash in the garbage can? Hawt!

Deb said...

I have always called this phenomenon choreplay.

phd in yogurtry said...

choreplay! that's perfect! do I have your permission to use that?

Nora said...

I saw a by-men-for-men marriage video once, and the speaker guy said to this room full of men, you are a clean kitchen away from the night of your dreams...I say that to Jeff all the time.

AnnD said...

OH MY GOD! That made me laugh out loud 3 times!!!!

Hopefully, my hubby will figure that out before too long. Such a simple thing...it could make such a huge difference in a relationship. It has to do with feeling respected and taken care of...

Stacie said...

I was thinking to myself as I began reading that maybe I should stop reading...so personal... but I love Phd too much to not finish to the end and I was so glad I did! I so needed that laugh! Awesome blog!!! Can I link today's blog to facebook? i have friends who need to read this. I will blather on about how great you are too so (let me know if it's okay) you'll get props too. (How 'bout my usage of the current slang...pretty cool huh?)

The Girl Next Door said...

OH yeah, doing laundry, scrubbing dishes, vacuuming, gets me every time....and they think we're hard to um motivate? Yeah not so much...

imom said...

What really gets me going is when he uses my car and fills up the gas tank for me. Oh. My. God!

JCK said...

I love your kind of S&M!

Fantastic Forrest said...

You crack me up.

Never in the history of blogging has the delete text line been used to more humorous advantage. Seriously good writing here.

Excellent work, PhD!

Jason, as himself said...

Hello! Thank you for your comments today on The Jason Show! I have seen your icon all over the place and wondered who you are. . .but I never clicked. Until now. Thank you.

This post? Fascinating. You seem like a fascinating person.

Now, I've been wondering this for months and months. Your profile pic. What Is that a picture of? Because to me, it looks like Mormon garments. Surely, it isn't Mormon garments. Or is it?

phd in yogurtry said...

jason -- mormon garments, I'm laughing. maybe they are, but not intended. they are old-fashioned full-length girdles, worn, I assume, by my grandmother's generation. I was feeling out of shape and "fat as a cow" when I started this blog. how's that for a lack of theme?

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Not only did I laugh through your whole post, now I'm laughing at all of the amusing comments from everyone else. You hit a nerve, clearly. :)

Orion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Orion said...

LIES!!!!

i'm the only one that does the dishes in my house, and i'm still not having sex.

:|

Andrea Frazer - Pass the Zoloft said...

I just wrote about that and got slammed. Men don't want to hear this! But it's true! AMEN!