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Saturday, June 06, 2009

hot tub etiquette at a large downtown gym


Old man with the rotund physique, I don't know where you came from or how you were raised, but proper jacuzzi etiquette does not include:


1. ignoring the stair step entrance;


2. lollying your full body onto the ledge, laying your head nearly directly behind mine so that you appear to intend to roll on top of me, swinging your legs down into the water, missing me only because I have lightning quick reflexes;


3. continuing to sit on the ledge about six inches from my spot, despite an otherwise empty jacuzzi, arms crossed and resting on your buddha belly, head tilted down, eyes closed, as if in deep slumber, remaining thusly situated for the next twenty minutes.


WTF, old man?!? I came here to relax too, ya know.

34 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I can top that. Bad hot tub etiquette at mountain resort. Middle-aged couple? Do not make out with the woman sitting astride the man while small children are in the hot tub. It was so gross.

Megan said...

HAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, but it's funny from here.

AnnD said...

What?! No real-life pics!?

I usually can't sit in them for very long, they are too hot!

Mental P Mama said...

gah

Sara said...

Ewww...creepy. The older i get, the less I enjoy public bodies of water. It just seems gross.

Margo said...

I'm surprised health departments still allow them at "large downtown gyms". GROSS. and no fair!

Grandy said...

Blech!! He violated so many etiquette rules with that one!! Geesh!!

Fragrant Liar said...

All I can think of to say about this gross breach of etiquette is EW.

imom said...

What Metal P Mama said!!!

Helena said...

I never liked jacuzzis. You never know who's been there, done what, who's gonna turn up, sit too close to you, etc, etc. Eeewww!

Jason, as himself said...

Ewwwww. This is why I prefer not to do public jacuzzis. It seems way to intimate.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

Oh dear. That's no good. I would be prone to silly giggling.

Mary said...

I have a little vomit in my mouth!

Fantastic Forrest said...

Don't get me started. The hot tub at my fabulous fitness center has been invaded by this ginormous middle aged man with a VERY LOUD VOICE. He talks incessantly to whomever is near him, loud enough for everyone around to hear, sharing his unsolicited opinions on everything and offering advice.

Personal physical space is important, but so is ear space. :-) STFU, people in the hot tub.

katydidnot said...

yeah, that's pretty weird.

also? jenn @ juggling life...that might've been me.

The Girl Next Door said...

eeeek. but the image of him rolling over the side of the hot tub? hilarious.

phd in yogurtry said...

annD -- you do NOT want to see real life pics. trust me.

jason -- it is strange, isn't it? standing in a hot (bath)tub next to someone you've never met before?

fantastic forrest -- maybe it's the same guy. he's so tired from all that loud opining in your jacuzzi that he's taking a nap in mine.

Brigit said...

Yuk! I've only been to a public spa once before. I like the spa concept, just not the sharing. And sharing with aging men with big fat bellies hairy chests, and speedo style bathers, with no idea of etiquette, means that they could fart or anything....noooo!!!

Cortney said...

Haha. He LIKED you!

Becca said...

umm..eeewwww?

Becca said...

oh and i have one too: hot tub etiquette in a female-only changing room does not include going in naked and then lying on the side of the pool with one leg extended down into the water, the other leg up with knee bent...FACING THE ENTRYWAY.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Maybe he thought his demeanor was relaxing you...Just being Devil's advocate.

;D

Jocelyn said...

Wow. He clearly WANTED you.

Or was indifferent to you.

What weirdness. Some sort of alpha male dominance business, probably.

Wanker.

Madge said...

i think some people are completely unaware they are not the only person in the world...

Real Live Lesbian said...

ewwwww!

Minnesota Matron said...

Ugh! This post is frightening. Grab the Lysol.

Lola said...

At least he didn't bring his Mr. Bubble bubble bath powder. I stayed at a hotel once where a family had put bubble bath in the jacuzzi. Who could ever think that was a good idea? Do it in your own home, not the hotel.

Stopping by as part of the June Comment Challenge.

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Magpie said...

Please tell me he was wearing a bathing suit.

apathy lounge said...

People who don't obey my PERSONAL SPACE rules really bug me.

Reinvent Dad said...

Oh yuck..I could talk for hours on locker room, bathroom and gym etiquette. Seems like only the old and the fat hang out at our gym's jacuzzi...not a pleasant site for people watching. Please just tell me that he was wearing more than a Speedo? Oh PLEASE tell me.

phd in yogurtry said...

magpie and Rdad -- am happy to report he was appropriately attired in swim trunks .. a boxer style swimsuit, so no issue there. I do think he was minding his own business, having a sort of snooze with his feet in the water .. but his way of getting there and his choice of seating sure had me perturbed!

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Eww, eww, eww, eww!

Andrea Frazer - Pass the Zoloft said...

Oh no. no no

Yarni Gras! said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. no hot tube stories, but we did have a weeny wagger at the beach....BIG fat dude used to wag at us as we walked by. He'd hide between the dunes and jump out. So freakin funny!