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Saturday, May 02, 2009

update from the cold country



Displaced Yankee that I am, I don't get to say "from the cold country" anymore and I sometimes miss it. So I should be thankful for this swine flu mexican flu H1N1 Influenza A virus subtype H1N1 simple cold I have had the bad luck to come down with during a pandemic uproar.

But I'm not. I'm mostly semi-miserable in my non-H1N1 status.

I am posting from the same couch I always post from my sick bed to update readers and say thank you, bloggy friends, for your comments and emails asking after my health. I'm sputtering along. No flu diagnosis. I have stuck to my "just say no" to doctor visits promise. Our newspaper warned, afterall, that people showing any of these symptoms:


fever

cough

sore throat

body aches

headache

chills

fatigue


should call their doctor but to not simply show up without an appointment. WTF?! The article says doctors may not want flu sufferers sitting in their waiting rooms breathing on the other patients. And since I don't know how to not breathe, I decided it was wisest to just stay home where I can, you know, continue to breathe without contaminating anyone.

Meanwhile, I vascillate between feeling incredibly irresponsible and incredibly superior to those numbskulls who would follow the advice of the CDC and visit their doctor, get tested, wait three days for confirmation and in the meantime be instructed to do exactly what I am doing already.

So my update is as follows: I'm alive and breathing. I am also coughing, sniffling, clearing my throat of ever thickening phlegm because I've never learned how to efficiently hock a loogie (I am not alone, I see). I am blowing my nose into Puffs with Lotion (a luxury: I normally buy the cheapo brand) and generally lazing around while taking advantage of appreciating my husband's efforts to appease the Queen of All Ills. This includes but is not limited to ordering in pizza and serving me Weight Watchers GIANT Cookies & Cream Ice Cream Bars at my whim.

It's a swine's dog's life but I'm suffering through it.

I am also drinking a LOT of water, as advised, about 16 ounces everytime I pass by the kitchen sink. Which means, when I am not drinking the water, I am sitting in the john powder room necessarium, catching up on my Newsweek subscription.
Which isn't such a bad thing. Just an annoying thing.

All this to say, I think I'll live. And thanks for asking.

28 comments:

Mary said...

I see you have retained your sense of humour throughout this ordeal!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm glad you're hanging in there.

I'm pretty sure my stepsister had it last week--since she's had a flu shot, but had all the symptoms. Since she wasn't watching TV or going online she didn't even think she was anything but run-of-the-mill sick.

I can't believe they're closing 3 schools here for 2 weeks for 3 "probable" cases.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

So happy to hear you'll live.

When we meet, I will teach you how to effectively hock a loogie. I was a champion in 5th grade; all the boys were impressed.

Terri said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Margo said...

you GO. water, cookies and cream ice cream and taking advantage of spousal unit equals "on the mend.'

Sinda said...

I bought those ice creams for Jesse at Costco this week too - they are very popular around here.

I came here today hoping to see video footage of the wheeled parade we witnessed through the windows and trees yesterday - are those batteries not yet charged??

Also, if you have any pictures of yourself with those "masks" on, please do share.

Feel better -

Hip Mom's Guide said...

So glad it's "just" a cold, but I hope you feel better soon. Remember that Nyquil is your friend.

Hit 40 said...

Too funny!!! Great pic!!

I hope they were washed first?

But... being a girl... I know they were filthy. Maybe you should hang out with supersperm. He likes dirty underwear too.

Vodka Mom said...

oh my God that picture made me laugh OUT LOUD!!

Whew. I needed that.

Fragrant Liar said...

That's not your husband wearing your undies is it? I imagined it was and giggled all the way through the rest of the post. Even if you're not physically better, that ice cream has to make you feel better. :)

Reinvent Dad said...

Cool pic, but I think that a thong would fit more snuggly than tighty whiteys..regardless, glad you're on the mend.

Jason, as himself said...

I hope you feel better very soon. And I hope I never hear the word "swine" again.

katydidnot said...

two things.

one. i bet your newsweek is all yada yada H1N1, blah blah swine flu, something something pandemic.

two. my doctor's office has decided that anyone showing up with said symptoms will be unceremoniously pelted with prozac pens and zyrtec clipboards and a tamiflu prescription (if they're lucky).

apathy lounge said...

I hear you! And that underwear picture is hilarious!

Donna said...

Ice cream fixes everything! :) Hope you get to feeling better soon.

g said...

Get better!!

It's probably right to stay home and just do what you're doing, as long as its a mild case. Although "mild" is relative, I guess.

The ice cream helps.

imom said...

This cold is not affecting your sense of humor! I have enjoyed reading "sick posts", however I really hope you are feeling better soon.

My daughter woke up with a sore throat this morning, so I'm keeping her home from school. I'll take her temp when she gets up... If I can find the thermometer!

dkuroiwa said...

If I could just get all that good treatment withOUT getting sick with the *whatever*, I'd be really happy....and yeah! ice cream makes all things right again!!

heard from a friend that dallas schools and some others in so. tx. were closing...early summer holiday...i'm sure the kids are lovin' this!

take care of yourself, luv...rest...and more ice cream!!

JCK said...

I am so sorry you've been sick. These spring viruses are the worst. I had a horrific cold over the last 10 days, and was also amused by the swine flu timing.

Hope you are feeling better!

Professor J said...

I love that picture! And good luck with the cold.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Oh, I had one of those WW ice cream bars for lunch! HEAVEN on a stick!

Hope you feel better VERY soon!

Madge said...

keep getting better...

Dr Zibbs said...

Oh great I'm feeling sick already.

Brigit said...

Maybe our flus were different. You havent lost your sense of humour. Mine was well and truly gone.

Hope your'e feeling better soon.

Health Psych said...

You inspired me to get my 'flu jab today, although now I'm rethinking in view of the 'medicinal' cookies and cream icecream bars.......

Good to see your hanging in there and taking it easy. I never worry while people have a sense of humour....hope you're back to full strength CoffeYoghurt soon

g said...

How are you?

The Girl Next Door said...

Sorry you are sick but glad you can make it hilarious for the rest of us! and now i need some ice cream....yum

Hope you are feeling better by now!

Fantastic Forrest said...

Poor baby! Hope you're feeling better.