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Monday, July 13, 2009

a big "told ya" on the small screen



You know how you read about a local happening that you are sure your kids will love?

And then you tell your kids and they're all, Um, no thanks.

And you're all, But I made plans so you could attend this super funtastic interactive art event.

And they're all, I'm not going.

And you're all, But I know you will love this. Trust me. It's paper making, printing art, book making crafts. Cool stuff!


And they're all, Why would I want to make a book?

And you're all, You absolutely will go or you can stay home and clean the dust bunnies under your bed.

And they're all, Don't care. Not going.

So then you're all, with your eyes bulgy and your voice screeching in that larynx-popping way, We're going and you're going to like it. Now get your little arses in the freaking car now.

And then the entire way there you hear whining and complaining and you start to think you've got this parenting thing all wrong. Instead of wasting so much energy keeping them entertained, you should be locking them in a cement laundry room where you pass them clothes to wash, fold, and iron, and a bowl of lukewarm gruel, but only after they've gotten every last wrinkle out.


That way, when you offer up a funtastic arty outing they'll be all, Yay, Mom! You're the greatest!

But instead you get to the artsy place parking lot and the kids are all, Look, there's a teenager. It's for bigger kids, Mom. We're not going in there.



And you're all, Just wait until we get inside. We'll see how it is and decide then.

And then when you enter the art studio you're greeted by a kindly and enthusiastic printmaker who smiles at your children, and he's all, Step right this way.

And the kids are all, rolling their eyes and looking like spoiled brats all apprehensive masked by underwhelm.

And the printmaker's smile distorts into an uncomfortable grimace and you detect a smidgeon of disapproval.

And you're all, with an awkward smile back, Sorry, we have a couple of reluctant book makers here.

But then you cattle prod nudge your pride and joys into a line where they have an antique printer press set up and they get to pick out the metal letters spelling their names from a printers drawer and work the press themselves.

And then they move along to wood block relief printing, and paper marbling, and calligraphy, and book collage, and suminagashi.



And they're all, Oooh, we really love the suminagashi.


And, Look, Mom! My name in calligraphy! Isn't this cool?



And, when it's time to leave, they're all, Noooo, Mom. We want to watch her do another calligraphy.


And, Can't we do one more book cover?

And, But the kindly printmaker has this really cool marblized paper for my collage book.

And, the next day we see footage of this event. It has made it to the local television news. We see one of our girls making a book collage and the shoulder of the other girl watching the relief printing.

And they're all, Hey Mom! Look! There we are!

And they're all telling their friends how funtastic the collage and bookmaking and printing press was.

And you're all, silently told ya.

And when does it get better, people? Seeing your I told ya so on the small screen?

Image source, Wisdom calligraphy, here.
Image source, Suminagashi, here.

30 comments:

Melissa said...

Ha! That is the best, I've gotta say. We spent last week in studio 8 ourselves, but mine was all agog about going. He totally loves it there.

phd in yogurtry said...

Melissa -- I think mine will like it the next time. It was all new and unfamilliar to them. Which is why we go, DUH.

Mental P Mama said...

We had a few thousand of those chats.. And yesterday? My daughter told me I didn't take her to enough activities when she was smaller....My head shot off my body, ricocheted about the room, and came back. It was funny.

Magpie said...

totally cool.

Sinda said...

Was that the AMOA family day? That was on my list, but I bailed - too hot, too happy to be in my house. Looks amazingly cool.

Fragrant Liar said...

You have hit the highest most challenging peak -- About Face, Adolescent Mountain. Go forth and live your life in the knowledge that you have done your best.

Reinvent Dad said...

Finally getting your children to do something that they didn't want to do at all, liking it so much that they didn't want to leave, and then taking pride in their creations ......PRICELESS!

phd in yogurtry said...

mpm -- I expect I'll hear that too. So I hope you will still be around to teach me how to snap my head back in place when it happens.

magpie -- that's exactly what they said!

sinda -- I can't remember if it said "family days" .. it was the Austin Bookmakers and Printers group plus an assundry of others in the bookmaking field. Yes, AMOA @ Laguna.

fragrant -- thanks. I needed that.

r-dad -- yup. that's how it felt. priceless. in a really good kinda way. especially when we all sat side by side collaging. loved that.

flutter said...

I would have gone!

Talon said...

I'm thinking it will be awesome when I'm a grandma and I'm watching my grandchildren headtripping my kids. Yeah...that's what I'm looking forward to - A LOT!

Mary said...

How am I going to arrange television coverage for the next time I need to say I told you so!

Vodka Mom said...

i love it when a plan comes together.


Nothing is easy though is it?? First, giving BIRTH and then it's hard the whole rest of the way........

Trannyhead said...

I'm glad they loved it. I seem to have this problem where I think my kid is going to really love something, and then I drag him there only to discover it's apparently the worst thing ever.

Madge said...

ok. i hope this actually works for me someday. i usually end up leaving and they are all "told ya"

blognut said...

Awesome! I love it when I'm right and they're wrong. So, yeah, that's almost always!

phd in yogurtry said...

flutter -- And you wouldn't have given me a hard time, would you?

talon -- Yes, I'm thinking there is a grandma or two out there smirking.

mary -- I can think of a few ways to ensure news coverage but they're drastic and might result in getting arrested. Worth it? Maybe.

vodka mom -- Right? Labor pains were our first clue.

tranny -- Or my kids act up, making it the worst time ever. Especially when scheduled in the midst of prime naptime. (Really really glad those days are over).

madge -- Ipods plus headphones work wonders against this.

blognut -- I wish my success rate was as high as yours. Say, for instance our walk around the lake (previous post) and I ended up with chiggers!

Pete said...

That's so funny that you have news footage to remind them that you're always right! Sounds like a cool outing though (samigotchi thing and all).

imom said...

I've gone through this many times with my kids, especially my son. He doesn't seem to want to do anything if he didn't think of doing it first. I finally talked him into taking drama class his Jr. year and he loves it. He will end up graduating with 4 semesters of drama on his transcript!

Told you so all over the place!!

Becca said...

oh i get you! My son cried, I mean sobbed for the first 5 karate classes, now he tells me he LOVES it and wants to do it FOREVER!!!!

katydidnot said...

mine ends with and then i'm all nothing, because i killed them.

Jenn @ youknow... that blog? said...

I adore you ;) Very fun post - been there, done that.

Hey, I've probably invited you before, which you totally blew off (haha), but if you have time, stop by my place tomorrow and take part in my "Silly Haiku Wednesday" blog event! The theme this week is "Summer Time". It's fun and easy - I promise!

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha so funny. I have done that so many times. I have tired of it now though - I have too many children and too little energy. They have to beg to do stuff - and of course that is exactly what the little buggers do. Now I say "oh let's just chill at home" they all want to go off and ski or swim or whatever.

Jocelyn said...

I SOOOOOOOOOOOo love you.

How did you get my kids in your house, though?

I sometimes call mine "crabby little rat bastards." Under my breath.

Like a good mother.

Phenomenal books!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Laura said...

This goes to show that intuition develops over time.

Sounds like you could be on a roll now.

AnnD said...

I love a story with a happy ending (aka young adults being proved wrong)!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Next time, I want you to take ME! That sounds like so much fun!!!!

Andrea Frazer - Pass the Zoloft said...

You write so well. wHo made the duck? It's beautiful.

phd in yogurtry said...

Andrea -- The ducks were made by the wood block relief artist while we watched.

Moxy Jane said...

Man, this so describes about 110% of my parenting experiences!

We missed this event - even had in on the calendar in INK - but heard it was fantastic. I'm glad you were SO mean and forced your priso-I mean- children to go!!

Moxy Jane
Austin, TX