Friday, September 21, 2012

noooooo ! not my city !

Just yesterday I tried to post a response to several  Omg, Texas is so scary comments in response to my last post.  All well deserved.

But blogger wouldn't let me for some unknown reason (and it's still acting extremely bratty this morning).  

Until you come to my chosen city, Austin, is what I wanted to comment until blogger wouldn't let me for some reason   Because unlike most of the rest of red, rural Texas, Austin stands as a shining, beckoning royal blue of liberal mindedness, inviting one and all, white, black, asian, hispanic, muslim, buddhist, athiest, left wing, left-of-center wing, and yes, even right wing.

As this story, waiting in my email box this morning, will attest:

So right now I'm trying to decide how to respond.  Tonight, after I see the live music planned for several weeks now, I could head to Bud's street with some lighter fluid and a blow torch and instigate a rope burning.

Or I can just go home like a peaceful little shrink and let good ole' boy Bud have his right to free speech like our  constitution guarantees and the oft bashed ACLU helps defend.  

What say ye, readers?

Monday, September 17, 2012

yay texas. way to make me proud. again.

More and more, Texas and Kansas are acting like twin sisters separated at birth.

First there was the push for creationist textbooks.  Thankfully cooler heads prevailed and my kids get to read a science book instead of a religious book.

Then there was that pesky law that mandates women seeking an abortion get a sonogram, thanks to federal judges upholding the law.  It's still being litigated but as of today women are forced to have an invasive, medically unnecessary procedure 24 hours in advance.  A logistical problem for both the patient and the medical facility.

But now?  A Beaumont Texas high school student, presumed gay, signed up for a cosmetology class.  The principal-slash-southern-baptist-deacon, Thomas Amons, instructed the cosmetology teacher, Cequada Clark, to inform the boy he wasn't welcome in her class.  Clark refused to deliver the message.  So Amons (not to be confused with Amens) did what any self-aggrandizing principal would do:  He cancelled the class.  Nobody gets to take cosmetology this term.

As for the noble Ms. Clark, what did she get for her courage and conviction?  A pink slip.


Friday, September 07, 2012

on economic conspiracy theories and donny osmond's secret love child

     My husband's and my conversations keep coming around to a conspiratorial theory about the job numbers in the economy.   Separately we've come up with the suspicion that corporations have been holding back on the hiring front, deliberately keeping the unemployment rate high so that their tax loop heavy, regulation lax GOP presidential candidate, in this case Mittens, will have a better chance of getting elected.

     So today when I saw the NYTimes blurb,

U.S. Added 96,000 Jobs in August; Unemployment Rate Fell to 8.1% 

I immediately surmised it would follow that most of those new jobs were released on August 31st following Mitt's nomination speech.  Or, in the case of companies headed by women, on August 29th, the day after Ann Romney's line,

     I mean, let's be real.  You can't tell me every GOPeep who heard that Oprah-esque shout out didn't cringe, just a little, when they saw that.  Or, like me, a full out stomach retch.  Who wrote that garbage?

     My assumption is, even the powers that be are cringing at the thought of four years of the smarmy Rmoneys in the White House (which inevitably, in most cases, leads to four more).  Four years of overly sentimentalized television journaling of the family's struggling college years, where (insert sad violin music) they had to  gasp!  sell stock - wait a sec, I need a tissue - in order to pay Mitt's law school tuition.  Four years of glamour interviews with each of the five Romney boys, where we get to listen to details of their own pulling-up-of-boot-straps stories.

     (I swear one of those boys was fathered by Donny Osmond.  You know which one I mean.)

     In any case, I am hopeful that job numbers keep rising, no matter who gets into office come November.  Various economic gurus claim we are on the right track, the worst is behind us, and that it takes money in the pockets of the middle class Americans to get back on solid ground.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

airport observations

My summer ended faster than expected.  At the last minute I had to fly out of town, to my nation's capital and then to my hometown in Joisey.  Too much time on my hands, between the hours before takeoff and mind numbing layovers, I took notice of my fellow fliers.
--Young women in swingy, flowy mini-dresses should not carry backpacks unless they want people behind them to watch their dresses hike up their asses.  Something about the positioning of the pack over fabric and the swaying of hips causes the dress to mimic a rising curtain.  Given the array of dimples I witnessed, this shocked observer wondered if the young woman was wearing a thong or nothing at all. 

--Hulky muscley guys are so, so not attractive.  They are like some tanned species of hairless ape in clothing.  It doesn't help that I imagine the hours and hours of grunting in front of a mirror as they painstakingly cultivate all those bulgy muscles.  Not attractive either.  

--Ditto not attractive, those tall athletic males who hawk a loogie into a planter not four feet from my own feet.  You were good looking until you made me gag.  

On a side note, someone feel free to explain one of the most mysterious unknowns plaguing me since childhood:  Is there an evolutionary reason why men spit so much? Equally appreciated would be a corresponding explanation for why women (read, this particular woman, me) seemingly lack the physical capability of spitting properly.  Why, instead of ridding the throat of irritating mucous, do my attempts cause only a fit of coughing and gagging and teary eyes which, maddeningly generates even more mucous.  

Ok, so back to ass cheeks.  Anyone want to take a guess as to which famous person these belong?