tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post3093545517710470879..comments2023-09-11T10:53:35.290-05:00Comments on When a Shrink Gets on the Couch: compliments that countshrink on the couchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13271891110211081990noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-27547810726573458402008-05-12T14:30:00.000-05:002008-05-12T14:30:00.000-05:00I always find this a facinating subject. And I hav...I always find this a facinating subject. And I have a hard time doing the right thing. I'm hopeful that by working on 2,3 & 4 my kids will be earning the right kind of praise by the time they are on to me. :)JCKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04582581376724478366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-38937334884588135272008-05-12T11:21:00.000-05:002008-05-12T11:21:00.000-05:00I've also done some research into motivation and p...I've also done some research into motivation and praise and you make a lot of good points. We really don't want to thwart the move toward intrinsic versus extrensic motivation--and too much praise and reward can definitely do that.Jenn @ Juggling Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455967210924573398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-89682311373885530772008-05-11T15:53:00.000-05:002008-05-11T15:53:00.000-05:00I don't think there IS a easy way coffeeyogurtI don't think there IS a easy way coffeeyogurtBeing Bipolar Suckshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11077720601461844761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-18396297083547639662008-05-11T14:40:00.000-05:002008-05-11T14:40:00.000-05:00That was an interesting and practical list. I hav...That was an interesting and practical list. I have copied it as it is a very useful reminder. I suspect I am guilty of thoughtless methods of praising my children on many occasions. My mother was not big on praise so I have to be very careful not to overcompensate with my children - they spot it immediately when I am just saying stuff and don't really mean it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-72757364413650865502008-05-11T03:24:00.000-05:002008-05-11T03:24:00.000-05:00Kids need to work a little bit to earn their prais...Kids need to work a little bit to earn their praise. I think it does a disservice (don't know that I would go as far as to call it damage) when you praise EVERYTHING, even their half-hearted efforts. They need to feel worthy of the praise for it to be genuine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-52859878606005887342008-05-10T14:53:00.000-05:002008-05-10T14:53:00.000-05:00I think it is always best to compliment the behavi...I think it is always best to compliment the behavior not the child. "Good girl" always feels wobbly to me. I prefer," What a good listener you are."<BR/><BR/>Know what I mean.Dr. Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06340730498047128203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-36358527108751037472008-05-10T10:21:00.000-05:002008-05-10T10:21:00.000-05:00"Fabulous blog CY ;)"you're crushing my self-estee..."Fabulous blog CY ;)"<BR/><BR/>you're crushing my self-esteem, HPshrink on the couchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13271891110211081990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-85636199721060170072008-05-10T00:59:00.000-05:002008-05-10T00:59:00.000-05:00Having been on the end of such gushing praise wher...Having been on the end of such gushing praise where it was absolutely unbelievable - I KNEW I hadn't done well - I have to agree that it is counterproductive in that it does sounds insincere. It would be so much more valuable if the praise highlighted something specific as Coffeeyoghurt suggests..<BR/><BR/>Having said that, I've done it myself...thanks for such a useful post, Coffee Yoghurt, HPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09409589783052980600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-78696301559960425232008-05-08T18:53:00.000-05:002008-05-08T18:53:00.000-05:00anon, I don't doubt she's being honest. Just that...anon, I don't doubt she's being honest. Just that her gushing is not terribly helpful to the contestants. <BR/><BR/>mary - I will join you in revisiting this post many times over. I need constant reminders.<BR/><BR/>jeanne - yep, btdt the hard way. p.s. is there an easy way?shrink on the couchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13271891110211081990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-50228535112778706192008-05-08T17:11:00.000-05:002008-05-08T17:11:00.000-05:00I have to say I agree -- as the parent to a kid w...I have to say I agree -- as the parent to a kid with low self esteem many teachers think what they say is great -- but many many times it has crushed my kid<BR/><BR/>and i have learned many of these tips the hard way too.<BR/><BR/>JeannieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-49323256428826634972008-05-08T15:23:00.000-05:002008-05-08T15:23:00.000-05:00I will come back to this post regularly as there a...I will come back to this post regularly as there are several lessons in it for me! Particularly the one about asking the kids in a positive way to show me something later.<BR/><BR/>(PS I watch American Idol here in Australia and agree with you absolutely about Paula! For what it's worth!!)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08578720378832806483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4511287927381998273.post-77376945087164115522008-05-08T14:31:00.000-05:002008-05-08T14:31:00.000-05:00omg.. just let paula critique how she wants. just ...omg.. just let paula critique how she wants. just because she is nicer than simon (who btw is getting paid to be mean, which means, he is just playing a character) doesnt mean she isnt being honest! anyway, it is obviously working since idol is nr 1 for 7 years in a row.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com